do you know S?

Its you and me..I trust you. I dont wanna scare you away so I'm not gonna tell you whats bothering me. I get where you're coming from but you have to get where I'm coming from. where I'm coming from spending new years with your ex is not normal and not telling a girl you dated pretty seriosly whom you still have contact with that you have a new girlfriend is not normal. I guess we are just different in how we feel and think. and as I said everything is just still so new and fresh with everything that have happend so it is fresh in my mind and I'm dealing with it and I'm not gonna have you deal with it. I'm not gonna scare you away. I rather keep it to myself and cry to my friends about then not having you in my life cus I love you so much and you are my first love so I don't know how to act. You need to let me find my role in our relationship. And I promise you, when you are back its gonna be us and we are amazeing together and I'm gonna be fun and were gonna have fun and everything is gonna be laid back. Nothing is gonna bother me anymore, and if it does I'm gonna take care of it, I'm a big girl I can take care of stuff myself. I wanna give you everything you want, I want to be everything to you, I want you to love me the way I love you and I want you to tell me what you want me to do. If you need space, I'll give you space. And with that said you're gonna have to meet me half way and understand that you cant decide everything, you can't decide whats right and whats wrong. But since I now know that telling you how I feel makes you doubt us then I'm not gonna bother you with my feelings. I'm gonna be a fun loving robot. I wish I could bother you some how and make you feel the way I feel. I love your confidence and I love you but just for one moment if you could feel how I feel maybe you would know. And at the same time I wanna be in your head and see whats going on and know how you feel. But I know...from now on I'm gonna turn to friends and write in my little book I have by the bed whenever something bothers me. I'm gonna litsen to sad music and cry and then I'm gonna hop right up on you and satisfy you. Because I love you and I want to sacrifise stuff and things I need for you...

Stay happy.